Come trovare la motivazione

La capacità di sapersi motivare è una delle chiavi dell’intelligenza emotiva. Se non riesci a motivarti, ciò può influire negativamente sulla tua vita. Ti impedisce di raggiungere i tuoi obiettivi. Ti costringe a procrastinare in continuazione. Inoltre ti fa sentire vuoto e apatico. Se sei stanco di finire continuamente in questo circolo vizioso, sei nel posto giusto. In questo articolo ti spiegherò esattamente come trovare la motivazione per fare qualsiasi cosa. Se non credi sia possibile, ti dovrai ricredere. Infatti ciò che sta alla base della tua motivazione sono alcuni fattori di cui sicuramente non tieni mai conto. Voglio suggerirti un approccio pratico per iniziare ad essere motivato a fare qualunque cosa. Se invece il tuo problema è legato alla mancanza di entusiasmo nella vita, vai al mio articolo sull’argomento.

Da che cosa dipende la mancanza di motivazione?

Quali sono esattamente i fattori che incidono sulla mancanza di motivazione? Molto semplicemente, ti mostrerò come il modo comune di motivarsi sia inefficiente e non porti a risultati nel lungo termine. Immagina una persona in sovrappeso. Questa persona, che chiameremo Tom, decide di dimagrire. Si dice: “Se non dimagrirò, avrò problemi di salute“. Allora decide di dedicarsi a 30 minuti di corsa ogni giorno. Il primo giorno va a correre. Fin qui sembra tutto ok. Quando però sta correndo, è assalito da pensieri del tipo: “Che noioso…” “Spero di dimagrire in fretta perché non ho intenzione di correre per tutta la vita“. In altre parole, è spaventato dall’idea di dover prolungare la sua sofferenza.

Cioè, il modo in cui questo individuo si è motivato è stato un atto di masochismo. Letteralmente. Quando tornerà a casa dalla corsa, penserà a quanto è noioso correre. La sua voglia di dimagrire scemerà pian piano (ammesso che sia mai sorta…). Così si ritrova ogni giorno che passa a motivarsi in questo modo: “Su, devo andare a correre perché altrimenti rischio di ammalarmi”. Così, diventa sempre più evidente come la corsa sia un modo per esorcizzare la malattia. Ciò che muove Tom è la paura. Il problema è che la paura non è un buon fattore motivazionale.

Perché la paura non serve a trovare la motivazione?

La paura è un meccanismo di difesa dalle minacce. Evolutivamente parlando, essa serviva per proteggersi da pericoli vicini nello spazio e nel tempo. Se dunque il nostro caro amico dovesse scappare da un leone, la “motivazione” a salvarsi la pelle sarebbe sufficiente a farlo fuggire a gambe levate. La paura funziona a meraviglia, ma soltanto nel breve termine. Il problema è che l’idea di una malattia è incerta e immaginaria. Per cui il nostro cervello non capisce a fondo la minaccia. E se anche la riconosce, come possiamo aspettarci di essere sostenuti continuamente dalla paura?

In altre parole, motivandosi con la paura Tom attiva il pensiero ossessivo. Ciò che lo porta a correre è la preoccupazione di subire conseguenze negative su di sé. Questa è l’essenza della motivazione negativa. Voglio essere molto chiaro circa questo argomento, poiché per gran parte della mia vita ho usato, seppure inconsciamente, questo tipo di motivazione. Ma che cosa rende la motivazione ossessiva così comune sebbene sia inutile e causa di sofferenza?

La motivazione negativa o ossessiva: come ti impedisce di trovare la motivazione?

La motivazione negativa è più comoda perché è l’eredità dei nostri antenati. Il nostro cervello è fatto per sopravvivere a minacce vicine, come una belva feroce o il nemico di un’altra tribù. Se userai questo tipo di motivazione per le tue faccende quotidiane, non otterrai che frustrazione e irritazione. E avrai sempre la sensazione di “dover” svolgere le tue attività per forza. Sarai duro con te stesso e quando ti capiterà di aggiungere una nuova abitudine, farai di tutto per non integrarla. Questo lo so benissimo: ogni volta che mi ritrovavo a far qualcosa di nuovo, mi dicevo che dovevo farlo perché altrimenti avrei subito conseguenze negative. Dovevo studiare per non essere rimproverato. Dovevo comportarmi bene per non essere giudicato male. E dovevo fare attività fisica perché ero l’unico nella mia classe a non farla.

Se la tua motivazione deriva da una paura, è davvero difficile mantenerla. Inoltre, la cosa più importante è che non sentirai un senso si soddisfazione appena finita l’attività. Sentirai al limite un sollievo per esserti liberato momentaneamente dalla tua ossessione. Ma l’ossessione tornerà il giorno dopo e sentirai l’urgenza e il dovere di andare a correre per liberartene ancora. E il ciclo continua così finché non ti accorgi che diventa insostenibile e non ne puoi più. Così smetterai di correre e tornerai alle tue vecchie abitudini. Oppure continuerai a correre, ma sarà un tormento tale da succhiarti l’energia. Inoltre, anche se riuscirai a trasformare la corsa in abitudine, avrai sempre quella sensazione fastidiosa che c’è qualcosa che non va. Sarai comunque assillato da preoccupazioni ossessive e agirai compulsivamente in modo da liberartene.

Ma come faccio allora a trovare la motivazione?

Lo so, pensare ad un’alternativa valida ed efficace è difficile. Siamo stati così abituati a motivarci in modo ossessivo che sembra non ci siano altre strade. Sembra che siamo costretti a fare le cose per forza, perché altrimenti ci cade il mondo addosso. O perché altrimenti gli altri ci guarderanno male. O ci giudicheranno in modo terribile (a proposito, liberati di quella maledetta paura del giudizio!). Oppure ci ammaleremo. Il fatto è che il nostro modello educativo si basa su questo tipo di motivazione. I genitori minacciano i figli di privarli di qualcosa se non ubbidiscono. La scuola si basa sull’assunto: se non studi, prenderai un brutto voto.

Abbiamo talmente impressa in noi la paura della punizione, che abbiamo introiettato in noi stessi il modo in cui gli altri ci motivavano. E siamo diventati ossessivi, paurosi e incapaci di motivarci davvero. Ma c’è assolutamente un’alternativa, che implica un cambio di paradigma. In sintesi, devi passare dalla motivazione negativa al suo opposto. Cioè alla motivazione positiva. Voglio essere chiaro e dirti esattamente come e perché funziona. E voglio che inizi ad utilizzarla per iniziare a raggiungere risultati straordinari. Ti anticipo che questo tipo di motivazione potrebbe rivoluzionarti la vita, se fino a questo momento hai usato la motivazione negativa. Il suo potenziale è davvero enorme, ammesso che sia in grado di sfruttarlo. Per questo ti darò delle indicazioni in modo che non possa sbagliare.

La motivazione positiva: come può aiutarti a trovare l’entusiasmo

Come abbiamo visto, la motivazione negativa si basa sul “devo (fare così)… perché altrimenti (succede questo). Al contrario, la motivazione positiva si basa sul “voglio (fare così) perché così ottengo questo“. Ecco alcuni esempi:

  • Voglio andare a correre per avere più energia e migliorare l’umore.
  • Voglio studiare per arricchirmi e costruirmi una cultura.
  • Mi piacerebbe cambiare dieta per migliorare la mia salute.

Per prima cosa, voglio metterti in guardia da una cosa. La motivazione positiva non è un gioco di parole. Infatti è abbastanza semplice che Tom legga questo articolo e dica: “Beh, non devo andare a correre perché altrimenti mi ammalo, ma voglio andarci per migliorare la mia salute”. Non è così banale. Infatti Tom potrebbe convincersi di usare la motivazione positiva, ma in realtà continuare a motivarsi in modo ossessivo. Ciò che è importante è, infatti, l’assunto di base e la paura in sottofondo. Finché Tom non capirà le ragioni profonde della sua scelta, difficilmente riuscirà a continuare a correre.

Il problema, infatti, è che Tom corre davvero perché ha paura o perché si sente in dovere di farlo. Per questo non può ingannare se stesso dicendo che in fin dei conti vuole davvero correre per essere in salute. Da un punto di vista logico, le cose non sono nemmeno in contraddizione: Tom può credere di voler correre perché deve rimanere in salute.

Mi stai confondendo le idee… A me interessa solo come trovare la motivazione!

Scusami se sono pedante, ma ho voluto sottolineare l’importanza di non prendere la motivazione positiva come un gioco di logica. Si tratta di qualcosa di molto più profondo, per cui era fondamentale che ti invitassi a non cadere nell’inganno. Voglio che ti accorga esattamente come la nostra mente ci illude. Ti faccio quest’altro esempio breve ed efficace: Tim decide di andare in palestra perché, pensa, vuole mettere su massa. Fin qui sembra tutto a posto, ma andando in profondità nella sua scelta, Tim potrebbe scoprire che il suo desiderio di andare in palestra derivi in realtà dalla paura di essere giudicato dai suoi amici perché è troppo magro. Ancora una volta, la sua motivazione è ossessiva.

Allora come trovare la motivazione? Ti voglio dire esattamente come devi utilizzare la motivazione positiva senza ingannarti e in modo da produrre i massimi benefici. Innanzitutto, ti anticipo che tale tipo di motivazione è un processo calcolato, che si basa su alcuni passaggi essenziali, senza i quali rischi di mandare all’aria i tuoi obiettivi! Qual è allora il modo migliore per impiegare questa strategia per motivarti efficacemente? Te lo spiego dettagliatamente nel prossimo paragrafo. Continua la lettura per scoprirlo immediatamente!

Come usare la motivazione positiva passo passo

Ecco quali sono i passaggi per sfruttare questo tipo di motivazione al meglio:

  • 1) Considera qual è il fattore di base che ti porta a fare una scelta. Se ad esempio vuoi dimagrire, potresti essere mosso dalla paura di essere giudicato male oppure di peggiorare la tua salute. In tal caso, non c’è assolutamente nulla di male. Non è la paura in sé il problema, ma è il modo in cui tale paura ti porta a compiere le tue scelte.
  • 2) Fai finta che la tua paura non esista. Potrebbe risultarti difficile all’inizio, ma puoi farcela. Devi soltanto metterla da parte per un momento.
  • 3) Pensa ai vantaggi della tua scelta. Questo è il cuore della motivazione positiva. Focalizzati sui benefici e sulle opportunità invece che sulla paura e sul problema. Anziché pensare a dimagrire per non essere guardato con disprezzo, pensa a che cosa potrai fare quando sarai dimagrito. Pensa a come saranno i tuoi livelli di energia. Visualizza la tua immagine felice e sorridente. Pensa a come sarà bello quando ti peserai e scoprirai di aver perso quei chili di troppo. In breve, devi focalizzarti sul futuro e smettere di ossessionato dal problema presente.
  • 4) Non perdere mai di vista i vantaggi della tua scelta. Prenditi questo impegno: ogni giorno, visualizza i benefici che vorrai ottenere.
  • 5) Poniti obiettivi realistici e dividi il percorso in tappe. Un’altra cosa importante per motivarti è abbassare le tue aspettative. Se pretendi di perdere tutto il peso di troppo all’improvviso, accumulerai solo frustrazione. Se invece costruisci una visione nel lungo termine e frammenti il tuo obiettivo in più micro-obiettivi potrai rimanere motivato sul percorso.

Dalla motivazione all’abitudine

Una volta che ti sarai motivato, non puoi aspettarti di essere permanentemente entusiasta della tua scelta. Per questo è necessario trasformare la motivazione in abitudine. In breve, devi sfruttare la forza della motivazione cercando di protrarla il tempo necessario perché la tua nuova attività sia integrata nella tua routine. Ci può volere del tempo per acquisire una nuova abitudine. Per questo hai bisogno di rimanere focalizzato sui benefici futuri. Quando sembra che la motivazione ti stia sfuggendo, scrivi i vantaggi della tua scelta. Metterli per iscritto ti inviterà a tornare positivo e motivato. Chiaramente, nel lungo termine la stessa motivazione positiva scadrà. Per questo devi affidarti a tre fattori:

In particolare, la missione di vita ti permette di avere una visione d’insieme, che ti consente di verificare che le tue attività siano in sintonia con il tuo scopo. Ciò ha uno straordinario effetto motivazionale. Infatti se avrai scoperto la tua missione di vita, saprai che cosa devi fare per realizzarla. Se vuoi fare lo scrittore, potresti ad esempio decidere di fare esercizio fisico perché esso aumenta la tua lucidità mentale. O perché ti fa sentire più rilassato. Potresti decidere di migliorare la tua dieta perché sai che dei pasti sbilanciati ti appesantiscono e vuoi sentirti leggero ed energico.

Motivazione e missione: come trovare la motivazione grazie ad uno scopo

La motivazione e la missione sono due elementi strettamente interconnessi. Se vuoi godere di una motivazione che ti tiene energico, avere uno scopo è fondamentale e imprescindibile. Se darai una direzione alla tua vita, potrai rendere le tue azioni e le tue attività in linea con essa. Del resto, è chiaro che senza una visione la tua vita non è che una specie di puzzle sconclusionato, e orientarti nella giungla odierna è un tantino complicato senza creare uno scopo. Se hai una missione, tutto ciò che fai serve a rendere possibile tale missione e a realizzarla, o a facilitarla, o ad accelerarla. Avere una visione è l’essenza del pensiero strategico.

Dai a tutto ciò che fai un senso, connettendolo con il senso superiore della tua missione. Fatti guidare dalla tua vocazione e vedrai come inizierai a sentirti motivato. Se la motivazione positiva è una strategia generale, efficace nel breve e medio termine (per quanto implichi un certo cambio di paradigma), trovare la tua missione è il presupposto per una vita soddisfacente e l’essenza della motivazione nel lungo termine. Se combinerai insieme la missione alla motivazione positiva, e inoltre visualizzerai spesso i tuoi obiettivi e la direzione ultima verso cui tendi, potrai davvero raggiungere risultati straordinari. Grazie per aver letto l’articolo e iscriviti alla newsletter!

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